By Heidi E. Bunes
[Winter 2000; Vol. 26, No. 4; Pg 5, 7]
I found myself lugging a ridiculously bulky, heavy load of papers from the MPS office to my car to haul home for recycling. With my feelings raw from breaking the news of his death to MPS members, I thought about Robert’s commitment to recycling. MPS began recycling when he joined us in July of 1990. There was no pickup at the office, so we had to take recycling home with us. Well, usually Robert took it home. Even when his strength was at a low, he would drag bags and boxes out to his car.
Our work relationship started with some apprehension on my part. He told me in his interview about his HIV diagnosis, saying he wanted to be honest. He also said he didn’t think it would be fair of me to hold it against him because he would work hard, and anyone I might hire could leave at any time for any reason. But Robert was obviously an idealist and an optimist; he was the best candidate for the job. With the Executive Committee’s blessing I plunged in, considering only the possible inconvenience of replacing him, but not how I would feel if he eventually died. Time would reveal that he was indeed the best, more than I could have hoped for. As much as it hurts now, I would still make the same decision if I had it to do over.
Robert was a gentle, loyal, and courageous man with many interests. He enjoyed season tickets to the Shakespeare Theater in Washington and the Axis Theater in Baltimore. He was an excellent cook, and won the cherry pie bakeoff back in the days of the Twin Peaks television series. He and his partner, David, collected art and were avid do-it-yourselfers. Home improvement projects filled their weekends. Although their yard was small, Robert experimented with gardening, often including exotic bulbs and plants. Their home in Hampden was a gem.
Robert Dillard was born on January 3, 1959 and grew up in North Carolina and New Mexico. He had a lifelong appreciation for music, reading, and the arts. He played the clarinet, oboe and was a drum major. In high school, the band director commented that Robert had a positive impact on everyone he encountered, and called him a role model for many students. In college, as a drum major, Robert directed the band at football games.
Robert was very patriotic. He flew the flag, bought US-made cars, and prided himself on being one of the first in his precinct to vote. He served in the Navy and was first stationed in Japan.
Later, he was a Russian linguist for the National Security Agency. After he was medically retired from the Navy, he joined the MPS staff. (Their loss, our gain.) Robert's military career was a mystery, because much of what he did was classified. He did tell his family he had received a navy commendation medal, but he could not say what it was for. .He was interested in many different cultures. I was surprised when his father gave me a set of “Teach Yourself Norwegian” tapes that Robert had apparently ordered just before his death. I can only guess he planned to surprise me with a few words or phrases.
I loved working with Robert. Many of the MPS's accomplishments over the 8 ½ years he worked here can be attributed to his efforts. The expansion of MPS News, the growth of the political action committee (MPPAC), and growth of the patient referral service are just a few examples. Robert handled referral calls so well that other organizations began referring callers to us routinely. He worked very hard and often took things home on weekends. He was committed to quality of care issues and devoted himself to work on managed care abuses and nurse-prescribing legislation. He was especially active in MPS work to protect patient privacy. Robert's family tells us that his work at MPS was very fulfilling for him.
His last two years were so difficult. He fought valiantly to keep going while his health went up and down. He tended steadfastly to David, who had a protracted decline, and died in August 1998. Finally, Robert admitted he could work no longer and retired from MPS at the end of 1998. We kept in touch, but I miss the daily contact we had had for so many years.
Robert drove to see his brother in Albuquerque in July and came back with plans to build a house and move there. His family had finally convinced him to leave his much loved Baltimore, and to return to New Mexico, where he would be closer. Their fear, knowing him as they did, was that he would not allow people to help him when he needed it. Robert was very positive after this trip. He enjoyed a trip to Las Vegas with his brother and friends a couple of weeks before his death. Suddenly, we heard he had been found dead at home.
I learned much from Robert and still miss him. I want to thank his parents for graciously contributing information to this remembrance of him. Robert’s family—parents Bob and Beverly, and his brother, Terry and his family—wish to thank those MPS members who expressed their sympathy and sent cards, contributions, and support. It has been very rewarding for them to know that he had another "family" that appreciated him. And that we did.
Ms. Bunes is the Executive Director of MPS.
If you would like to send condolences, please write to:
Beverly and Robert Dillard
4802 Forest Drive
Carlsbad, NM, 88220